Welcoming a newborn while caring for a toddler is not a walk in the park. Yet it is not something uncommon, considering that Americans have an inclination toward larger families. According to a 2023 Gallup poll, 45% of Americans favor larger families, which is almost half of the population. Among these, 29% consider three children ideal, 12% prefer having four kids, and 2% are even willing to have five or more children.
When families grow in size, there is a chance that the kids are not many years apart. However, having two kids within a few years can pose a challenge to parents. Balancing the needs of both children and managing your own well-being can be taxing. Moreover, adapting household routines requires patience, flexibility, and support.
However, you can enjoy the ride with some smart parenting moves. The best part is that you get to raise little ones simultaneously and enjoy your freedom once they become independent. In this article, we will share a few tips to navigate this new chapter without tons of effort and stress.
Prepare Your Toddler
A new arrival in the family is exciting, but it can bring a big transition for the elder siblings. BBC highlights the importance of preparing your toddler for a new life well in advance. Experts recommend disclosing the news to your toddler early. Explain things to them in age-appropriate language, showing them the scans and your bump.
This approach will ease the transition and reduce feelings of jealousy or insecurity. Involve your child in setting up the baby’s space, with tasks like arranging the crib or choosing toys for the baby. This involvement helps them mentally connect with the upcoming changes and feel included in the entire process.
Also, introduce the concept of sharing, particularly if the toddler is the first child. They will need to share your attention and their space once the new baby arrives. Start practicing sharing beforehand, perhaps by sharing toys during storytime. This gentle introduction helps your little one adjust to the idea of a new family member.
Seek Help When You Need It
Looking after two small kids is not easy, and you need help at some point. The US Department of Labor notes that paid childcare in the country is exorbitant. The most recent data shows that the annual cost of full-day care for one child in 2022 ranged between $6,552 and $15,600. These numbers account for 8.9% and 16.0% of the median income of American families.
There are less expensive alternatives if you are ready to seek help. Accept support from family, friends, or neighbors. Small acts like watching your toddler for an hour, bringing over a meal, or running errands can go a long way. Also, divide parenting duties with your partner to ensure each child gets quality attention.
Have a plan for crisis control, such as your newborn falling ill or the toddler getting injured. Rushing to a pediatrician may seem the best approach, but sometimes you can lean on the nursing staff, as they are more accessible. Baylor University notes that neonatal nurses are trained to handle the needs of premature and high-risk newborns.
Many nurses pursue online NNP programs to upskill and enter this field of specialty. The benefit of the online track is that they need not take a break from their career. For parents, NNPs are more reachable than pediatricians, so they can help you when things get tough.
Create a Routine
Some changes are inevitable after a baby joins your family. This may be hard for toddlers as they are comfortable with their schedules. As a parent, you will have to figure out a routine that works for you and both children.
The changes should not be too drastic as the child may already be stressed, and big changes may worsen their anxiety. Keep certain routines, such as bedtime stories or special outings, consistent to create a sense of security for your toddler during this period of adjustment. At the same time, establish a flexible daily schedule rather than being rigid.
A structured timeline will help both children know what to expect and reduce anxiety and meltdowns. The best schedules for young families often include coordinated nap times after lunch. This gives you a chance to rest or spend one-on-one time with your toddler.
Read More: How To Create A Toddler-Friendly Home: 10 Helpful Tips For New Parents!
Invest in Self-Care
Self-care may not be on your checklist as a new parent handling a baby and a toddler together. However, WebMD recommends investing in your well-being to keep problems like postpartum depression at bay. Stick with the basics, such as fueling yourself with optimal nutrition, getting light exercise, and guarding your sleep.
Taking time off from your duties is equally important. Even short breaks for a quiet cup of tea, a walk outside, or a relaxing shower can help recharge your energy and patience. Both partners can take turns for breaks, or do it together by seeking help from a loved one.
Acknowledging your feelings is also a part of self-care. Both your toddler and you will experience a range of emotions during this transition. Your children tend to regress, such as wanting to be carried more or having potty accidents. Be patient and see the struggles as a part of having a bigger family rather than a failure.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How do I stop my toddler from hurting my newborn?
A toddler may initially feel jealous with the arrival of a younger sibling. You need to ensure that they do not hurt the newborn. Always supervise interactions between your toddler and newborn. Show your toddler how to gently stroke the baby and avoid poking or scratching. Let the older child help with safe tasks, like fetching diapers, to foster a sense of responsibility and inclusion.
Can a toddler sense a new baby coming?
Toddlers are often highly perceptive and they notice changes in routines and your mood. Over time, they may even understand physical differences during pregnancy. Many toddlers become clingy or act out as they sense something is different, even before the new member arrives.
What is the best age gap between baby 1 and 2?
While the answer depends on a family’s expectations and circumstances, two years is a minimum practical gap between kids. Larger age gaps (over four years) may lead to more kindness and less conflict. However, siblings closer in age often develop closer relationships.
Parenting is a challenging journey, and having two young kids to raise makes it even harder. At the same time, the struggles should not deprive you of the joy of a bigger family. Follow these practical tips, cultivate patience and flexibility, give your children lots of love, and build a happy family forever.
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